I own 48 striped shirts
As I got dressed yesterday, I noticed a long sleeved boat-neck t-shirt with lavender and white stripes hanging in my “white shirt” section. It was a recent purchase at Fat Face in Boston. It’s quite lovely. Very soft. Then I noticed in my dirty clothes pile that I had just acquired a long sleeved boat-neck t-shirt with lavender and navy stripes at the Gap on Tuesday. A disturbing thought crossed my mind that I have way too many striped shirts. So many that I didn't even recall the Fat Face one when I purchased the Gap one and they are very similar. I thought about it later and made a quick inventory of all of the striped tops that I own. Now that’s t-shirts, button down shirts, halter tops, hoodies, and sweaters. I own 48 striped shirts. Who has 48 striped shirts? And that’s not even all of my shirts. I also have a lot of solids, plaids, and florals. I have shirts from various trips. Tunics, blouses, v-necks, crew necks, henleys. I have a shirt with a unicorn on it and two with Golden Retrievers on them. I have running shirts to “prove” I finished two marathons. I have four UT shirts. I have a shirt that says “Grand Tetons” on it that always makes us giggle because we are sometimes mentally 12 years old and use that term for “big boobies.”
I have a lot of fucking shirts. But wow, 48 striped shirts? That’s a lot of striped shirts. None of them are expensive striped shirts. Nothing like the “fuck you” shirt Bill bought me in NYC when we first started dating. An excess of striped shirts perhaps? Not that I do anything in excess….
After I separated from my first husband in 2011, I moved into a tiny apartment and gave a ton of stuff to Goodwill. It was a new beginning. A new me. I don’t think I own many of the clothes I used to own before the divorce.
When I met Bill, we went on a trip to Northern California. It was the best trip ever. We did a lot of shopping in San Francisco and somewhere in those first few months of getting to know each other, he mentioned that he really liked stripes. He once bought me three identical striped shirts in different colors.
Now I don’t want this to sound like I only wear stripes because Bill likes stripes and I am his concubine and do whatever he wants. If you think that, he will set you straight. Well, I could set you straight too, but he would probably do it in a kinder way. I might stab you in the neck with a pencil. I think I just love him a lot and I like to like things that he likes. If I didn’t like striped shirts for some reason (I’m not sure why someone wouldn’t like striped shirts though, could they remind someone of a prison outfit? Not if they are lavender and navy stripes. That’s for sure.), I do not think I would have 48 of them.
Now the trick is managing so many shirts. Like there is this one very classic turquoise and navy striped shirt with a boat-neck and three quarter sleeves. It’s very attractive on, but I never wear it because the stretchy material is not stretchy enough and it is not very comfortable nor is it soft. So it hangs there in the “blue shirt” section and every time I look for something to wear, I think that I should give this shirt away, but it’s pretty. I have some shirts that are too small, but I am not ready to give up on losing the weight I put on the past couple of years from stress. I just keep those striped shirts in the “one day” section.
I guess there’s a possibility I’m trying to buy some sort of happiness? But with striped shirts? Really? I mean I suppose it’s feasible, but wouldn’t happiness really be a job for shoes? Or diamonds?
I like to think it’s more of a symbol of my love for Bill. I see stripes and I think of our romantic love story.
