We will see...

I fear this entry may be a little dull with so much talk of gardening, but it’s just what’s happening right now so there you go.

There’s a story, I’m sure you’ve heard it. I’ve heard it at least a million times. There is a farmer and his work horse runs away and all of the villagers come to him and say, “oh no! Your horse ran away. What bad luck.” The farmer replies, “maybe yes, maybe no, we will see.” So a week later, the horse returns to the farmer along with several wild horses he met on his adventure. The villagers applaud the farmer’s good luck and again the farmer says, “maybe yes, maybe no, we will see.” While the farmer’s son is training the new horses, he falls off and breaks his leg. The villagers cry, “oh such bad luck that your son broke his leg!” The farmer just says, “maybe yes, maybe no, we will see.” The following week, soldiers arrive in the village to draft all of the young men the same age as the farmer’s son. The son, however, is not chosen because of his broken leg. “Oh such good luck you have,” the villagers exclaimed. And the farmer says, altogether now, “maybe yes, maybe no, we will see.”

So apparently this story is supposed to help me remember that life’s situations are not necessarily good or bad. Something about expectations and perspective are in there too I am sure. I guess I’ve been thinking about this story recently because of the current global health crisis. Covid-19 is a highly contagious and potentially deadly virus with no cure or vaccine. Millions of people have lost their jobs and there is so much confusion and lack of government leadership that no one knows when things might (if ever) return to “normal.” The economy has tanked and many businesses will not make it through. Now, to me, this all sounds pretty damn shitty. If someone came up to me on a particularly bad day and said, “maybe yes, maybe no, we will see,” then I might shove a pencil right into their throat. Or at least tell them to fuck off.

I totally get that I am “supposed” to take it one day at a time and be grateful for my circumstances and look at the glass half full and blah, blah, blah. I can do that. Sometimes. And sometimes I just have a complete meltdown because this is some scary shit.

The first week or so of “shelter in place,” I passed a woman on my run and she said, “we are all going to be in such good shape when this is over.” I also passed a woman working in her yard and she said, “we are all going to have such nice yards when this is over.” After several more weeks, I think more than a few people gave up writing the next great American novel or learning to speak French. Home schooling has probably become less and less effective as Mommy and Daddy start drinking wine at 10:00 am (I don’t blame them!). This has been some really hard stuff on some days. And I know how lucky I am. I most certainly don’t want to compare my situation to those who are worried about feeding their families right now or healthcare workers who are putting their lives on the line every day. Honestly though, who is to compare themselves to anyone else? We are all having this experience in our own way.

I have better days (or hours or minutes) when I can see some gifts that have come out of this crazy mess. As a person who leans towards some depression, it is an absolute miracle that I have not spent one day depressed and in bed during this entire experience. I really do mean a miracle. I didn’t say that I don’t have the occasional crying fit or temper tantrum, but I’m not depressed.

This pandemic has really created opportunities for human kindness, which is incredibly touching to see. There were people on Twitter offering to cover bills for people who couldn’t pay their bills. People on Nextdoor offered help to those who could not leave the house. Various businesses changed course to address the needs of the public. I heard Nordtrom tailors were making surgical masks and distilleries were making hand sanitizer. I received emails from just about every store I’ve ever frequented explaining their commitment to protecting their employees and customers. Our local grocery store, HEB, has come out looking like a hero with all of their disaster preparedness efforts. I’ve loved meeting all of our neighbors. We live in a very small neighborhood and while I’ve seen a lot of our neighbors, I haven’t had the occasion to actually speak with them as much as I have lately. Even when I drive over to Northwest Hills to go for a run, I can feel the community spirit as everyone respects social distancing and gives a warm greeting or wave.

Then there’s the gardening. I know I have mentioned it in previous postings and I swear this will not be all that I talk about forever. I’m just so surprised the dedication has continued and I still like something that I really assumed I did not like at all. I had honestly never, ever even mowed a lawn and while I made a few gardening attempts over the years, I usually lost interest quickly and I can’t say it was ever very life-changing. I didn’t feel “grounded” with my hands in a bunch of dirt. Whether it’s because I really had nothing else to do or I felt the need to be useful, the gardening bug has stuck around. I’m probably a little obsessed, but I suppose that’s not a bad obsession to have when you consider various alternatives. Booze and pills are definitely out as positive ways to occupy my day. I love ice cream, but I would like my jeans to actually zip when I have to go back to wearing non-elastic pants.

We’ve lived in our house about five years and I think I’ve raked leaves once or twice and we had some landscape experts do a couple of projects here and there. There is no grass, mostly just xeriscape. It didn’t look absolutely horrible, but it’s a huge corner lot and it needed some help. It started with raking leaves. We have many oak trees and while they are quite beautiful, they drop a LOT of leaves. And then they drop some more. And then come the little squiggly things that are nearly impossible to pick up. I filled up 36 lawn bags. Then I ordered 24 more and filled those too. I ordered another 25 and filled those up. And finally, I ordered 50 additional bags and I’ve gone through about 20 of those. Now it wasn’t only leaves. There were trees and shrubs that needed to be pruned or removed too. And of course all of the weeds. Oh and don’t get me started on the ridiculously overgrown rosemary. We definitely “won” the most lawn bags used competition in the ‘hood for 2020 (where’s that trophy??).

Next, we visited Shoal Creek Nursery and bought about 25 plants. Mostly perennials. I may have planted them all in one day. My hands were like 10 little fat sausages afterwards. Now it’s a little disappointing doing all of that planting and not seeing results immediately. You mean I have to wait for these things to grow?? Not easy for an instant gratification lover like myself.

We had a gravel pathway along the side of the house and two areas in the side and front yard that also had some rocks and gravel. Unfortunately, most of it had eroded and none of it was looking very good. The rest of the yard was also in desperate need of some mulch. We found a company in town who would deliver mulch, gravel and rocks so we figured out the coverage in square feet and gave them a call. The next morning, a truck pulled up at our house with 17 cubic yards of mulch. That is a shit ton of mulch. There was no way we had intended to order that much mulch. I had left the math up to Bill so I’m not really sure what happened. That Wednesday, we mulched the entire front and side yard. Like I said, we have a huge corner lot. I could barely walk the next day. And the sad part was that we barely made a dent in the pile of mulch. But the yard looked good! That Friday, it rained. A lot. The landscaping company showed up after 4:00 with our rocks and gravel. It was a huge truck with a fork lift on the back. I counted six pallets of rocks. I asked the guy which ones were for us. He said all of them. WTF?!! Each pallet was about a ton. That’s 12,000 pounds of rocks. 12,000 pounds! I had no idea how we were going to use all of this up. Our math must have really been off. And I was really good at math in college!

17 cubic yards of mulch!

Six tons of rocks!

On Saturday, I emptied the first bag of crushed limestone, replacing all of the gravel on the pathway that runs along the street side of the house. It looked really nice against the dark mulch. Unfortunately, we had an entire pallet leftover. For such tiny little pieces of gravel, they can really add up to quite a bit of back pain. While rest would be the normal course of action for a normally functioning human being in pain, I had five more pallets of rocks to empty and the pain was just going to have to wait. We had ordered 4000 pounds of river rocks for a circular area on the lot’s corner and I was determined to get those suckers in that bed ASAP. First though, I had to remove the rocks that were already there. Not exactly the fun part, I did rake up all of the old rocks, rinsed them off and found a great place for them in a small bed next to the driveway where we keep the garden hose. They looked great there. The river rocks were my favorite part of the whole project. They are really beautiful. And heavy. I couldn’t just dump them in the bed either. I had to place them around the plants to make sure every piece of ground was covered. I used about a pallet and a half of rocks. It was sort of a bitch and by the end, my “indestructible” gloves had holes in all of the fingertips. It was beautiful though. I was slightly disappointed that the rocks were so much more vibrant when they were wet and a little less so when they were dry. A friend suggested an acrylic spray I could use to make the rocks look wet all of the time, but the thought of removing each rock, putting it on a piece of cardboard, spraying one side, letting it dry, spraying the other side, and then putting it back in the bed gave me hives. I quickly learned to love the less vibrant rocks.

Crushed limestone gravel walkway

Arizona river rocks

We still had a lot of mulch left over. We kept trying to add more to the yard, but there really is a limit to the amount of mulch you can use. I bagged some up for areas we might have missed, but we were either going to have to get used to not using our second car or find somewhere for this stuff to go. Fortunately, with so many neighbors out walking around the ‘hood, people tended to notice what we were doing. We offered up free mulch to everyone who passed by and a couple of people were happy to take us up on it. The very last of it went to the garden at the entrance of the subdivision.

We went back to the nursery to replace a couple of plants that didn’t quite make it. I also had to buy new gardening outfits. A girl just can’t be expected to garden in just anything. Even in a pandemic, style matters. I discovered Duluth Trading Company and their extensive line of clothing exclusively designed for my new endeavor. Stain-proof pants with special slots for knee-pads, pockets that sharp tools can’t tear, and a waistband that is higher in the back to avoid “plumber’s crack.” Adorable overalls with pockets for just about everything. More “indestructible” gloves (that also got holes in the fingers after a couple of days of rock work).

In between the circular bed and the limestone pathway, there was an area full of weeds and tiny pieces of granite. We had purchased larger sized pieces of granite for this spot, but first we had to pull all of the weeds and rake up the existing granite. We made a pile in the driveway and I had decided that it would be nice to put it around some pavers on the other side of the house. It was filthy though and full of leaves and sticks. I tried washing it off, but it would have taken years to pick out all of the leaves and sticks so I just decided it was acceptable and started moving it to the side yard. After about three wheelbarrows full, I decided the filthy granite was not quite acceptable (I’m a clean freak, what can I say?). It occurred to me that we had a full pallet of the limestone left and that would be great around the pavers. I moved the filthy granite to the dirt area underneath the backyard deck and started emptying the limestone into the side yard. The larger granite was perfect for the area between the circular bed and the limestone pathway.

River rocks and new granite

So fortunately or unfortunately, we had a LOT of rocks left over. I decided to make a rock garden in the backyard. I did try to look up some ideas on the internet, but I sort of had my own idea. As impatient as I can be, I just started dumping rocks around some trees thinking I could just make these interesting concentric circles and they would actually stay in place. Now with two very rambunctious Golden Retrievers running around the backyard, I think most any person would know that nothing is going to stay in place. But I did it anyway. And it was a giant mess. Millie kept bringing rocks up onto the deck and Grace would roll around in the limestone, tossing it all over the place. And even though I knew that edging would keep things contained, I didn’t bother to actually buy any before starting this project. I found some online and placed an order, but with the popularity of pandemic gardening, it took a while to arrive. And boy was it a pain the ass to put in. In the end, from above, it sort of ended up looking like a deformed avocado. From the ground though, it looks OK.

My deformed avocado

Backyard oasis. Full disclosure, I only did the circles around the trees and some cleanup. A lot of this was previously done by a landscaper.

I should mention that Bill was a huge help during this entire process and I could not have done it all myself. He was quite the trooper too dumping wheelbarrows full of mulch and rock all over the yard. In a walking cast! He actually broke the first cast after one day of yard work. The second cast lasted a couple of weeks longer. When they removed it at the orthopedist’s office, there was mulch everywhere.

I also forgot to mention the armadillos. Now I have seen armadillos in the yard before and didn’t give them a second thought. It’s Texas after all and you just let them do what they do. Until they mess up your newly mulched yard. Then it’s all out war. I was shocked the first time I noticed their handiwork. There were holes ALL over the yard. Holes in our new mulch! I did some reading and found out they eat grubs and roots of plants. If you think I was going to let them eat all of the roots to the new plants, you have lost your mind. And if that wasn’t bad enough, they can also damage foundations and they carry disease. They had to go. I read about home remedies and there didn’t seem to be a consensus that any of them worked. We decided we needed a professional. We called our exterminators and guy #1 showed up the same day. We showed him two burrows we had found and he told us it would cost $420 and they would set traps and then check them three times. There was no guarantee they would catch anything, but he really sounded like he knew what he was talking about and we felt pretty good about it. Until the next day. When guy #2 showed up to set the traps. Bill disliked him immediately. He asked for the money up front. I still felt hopeful. I mean he was a professional right? When he was about to leave, he said, “armadillos are tricky, I’ve never actually caught one myself.” Now tell me, does that sound like a great marketing ploy for an exterminator? I hoped he was kidding or maybe new? He left and I just knew they would catch an armadillo the next day. And no. No armadillo. The following day, guy #2 came back and seeing no armadillos in the traps, he put a wad of paper towels in each burrow to see if either burrow was “active.” On the 5th day, guy #2 returned and discovered that no armadillos were using one of the burrows and while armadillos were using the other burrow, they had managed to evade the trap. Evade the trap? Aren’t these professional grade traps??? Bill was furious and made a call. I will just say that after his “discussion” with the owner of the company, the traps were removed and we were given all of our money back. I’ve seen evidence of armadillos since then, but not as much. I guess the newness wore off and our mulch isn’t as enticing as it was initially. I see their point. I mean new mulch is quite delicious.

We have two small patio areas in the front yard that we’ve always just used for potted plants. Lately, I’ve noticed a lot of people with chairs in their front yards. I think there’s a lot of need for human connection. I ordered a couple of Adirondack chairs and some really cool planters. They look great in our new little front yard oasis.

New planters and chairs for the front yard

So far, I’ve planted four types of Lantana, two types of Phlox, one blue Mistflower, five Blackfooted Daisies (none of which survived, I’ve seen them growing out of cracks in the sidewalk! How can I not grow them?), one Skullcap, two types of Verbena (which have also not done very well), three Foxtail ferns, one Holly fern, four types of Salvia, a Flame Acanthus, four Ruellias, seven silver-ish leaf thingies, one purple leaf thingy, a Texas Primrose, a variegated Pittosporum, a Lamb’s Ear, an Aralia, an Aspidistra, some green leafy thingy, and a Damianita (which also didn’t survive). Planting was not so easy in our yard. The soil is incredibly rocky and someone, at some point, decided to put that stupid fabric stuff in the ground that is supposed to keep weeds from growing, but it never really works and then when you want to plant something, you have to try and cut through it and it’s nearly impossible to cut. Fortunately, I discovered a Hori Hori knife, which I believe might be the best gardening invention ever.

I mentioned some back pain and sausage fingers, but I don’t think I have quite described the immense level of pain my entire body has been in since starting all of this yard work. Everything hurts. All the time. My wedding ring doesn’t fit because my fingers are so swollen. My shoulder hurts so much that I can’t sleep on my left side. When I stand up after sitting a while or walk down the stairs, I am so stiff that I feel about 85 years old. My knees are calloused from crawling around on the ground. I can’t turn my head to the left because of the crick in my neck that won’t go away. Should I rest? Yes, that would probably be a wise move. But once I go outside, I am like a woman obsessed. I must pull those weeds or pick up those leaves. And then before you know it, I’ve got out all of my tools and it’s three hours later. I just can’t get enough.

Every day, there is something I can do in the yard. There are always leaves and sticks to pick up, plants to water, weeds to pull, and trees and bushes to be pruned. I am constantly discovering new areas of the yard that need some attention. Over the years, some of those weeds that we neglected to pull have become actual trees in places where there should not be trees. Trees are good you say yes? Not when they are growing right up into a beautiful oak tree. Or not when they are growing completely sideways looking for some sun. I think it’s good to know your yard and what’s happening in it. It’s amazing how for so many years, it was just the area around the house that I drove by on my way into the house. Now it is an extension of the house. Like additional square footage! Shhh, don’t tell the tax people.

I don’t know how long this pandemic will last. I feel like I’d be less anxious if I could at least get an end date. I don’t care for uncertainty. I don’t believe that is in the cards anytime soon. On some days, maybe that’s bad. On some days, maybe that’s good. I guess we will see.