Summer Vacation 2023

The plan was to escape the raging hellfire that has encompassed the state of Texas. Go to Maine we said! Take cool walks every day we said! It will be heavenly we said! So we set off on June 28th to Maine. A long drive to Memphis the first day. We always stay at the Arrive hotel downtown and it was lovely as always. They love our dogs. We started out early the next morning and got to Roanoke early in the evening. I had found this really cool boutique hotel, the Liberty Trust. I had called them and they said they took dogs so it was a good choice. When we got there, the young man at the front desk told me they only took one dog per room and it had to be a small dog. Our dogs are not small dogs. But they are damn good dogs. Exhausted from the trip, I was just flummoxed. It was too late to go elsewhere. The guy told me I had made my reservations from a third party and they shouldn’t have told me they took large dogs. Well wtf? Then why was I able to make the reservations? I had a meltdown and the manager decided to let us stay. It was not a great room. We walked over to an Asian restaurant to get take-out and I tripped over a step at the front door and fell flat on my face. I wanted to cry. Assholes at the hotel and an embarrassing fall at a restaurant. We left early again the next morning and got to Georgetown, DE early evening. Among the cornfields, we found the perfect house for people with dogs. It had a large fenced yard, dog art and books everywhere, special dog blankets and towels, even stair treads with little paw prints on the stairs. We stayed 2 nights in Delaware so we could see if it was a possible retirement location. It ended up being a no. There was a “Let’s Go Brandon” sign in the neighboring cornfield. Dover was pretty ugly. Neither of us had been to Delaware so it was good to see it, but it just wasn’t for us.

On Thursday, we drove to Portland. I was in tears by the end of the day. Driving around New York and through Connecticut is just one giant traffic jam. I thought it would never end. The highlight was the NJ Turnpike travel stop with the cake vending machine. When we finally got to Maine, it was late and I had chosen an Embassy Suites, which was perfectly fine. We stayed 2 nights. I really liked Portland. It is a proper city and I would have enjoyed staying longer, but we had rented 2 houses and we were anxious to get settled after such a long drive.

But first LL Bean! I love, love, love LL Bean. It is my Disneyworld. The girls were a huge hit. They greeted every employee and customer like they were hostesses.

 We got to the first house in Embden Saturday and it was adorable. It was on a lake/pond and the décor was so fun (super kitsch) and the kitchen totally decked out. Three smart TVs, a sleep number king-sized bed, a boat dock, a hot tub and sauna, a real house. For some reason though, the upstairs ceilings varied in height so we were constantly banging our heads. It had rained a lot so the dock was washed out a few days, but then we got a rowboat and Bill and the girls had a lot of fun on the water. The closest grocery store was about 20 minutes away and there weren’t any restaurants close by so we cooked a lot. We had to go to the Walmart in Skowhegan and they also had a Tractor Supply, Guns and Ammo, Dunkin Donuts, and a Bait, Bolt and Bullets. So much for cute little Maine shops. The weather was indeed cooler, but the humidity was 85% so it was uncomfortable. And did you know that houses in Maine usually don’t have A/C? Yeah, I didn’t. Texans air condition everything. It’s just common sense. This house had 2 window units so that was reasonable. As for daily walks, we tried a few and the bugs were unbelievable. I don’t even know what these bugs were. All sizes of biting bugs. And repellent was useless against their super powers. We drove 2 hours to Bangor one day to see Stephen King’s house. The city was sort of depressing, but the street that King’s house is on is idyllic. They had a huge yellow house for sale, with a wrap-around porch that was just a couple of doors down. It was under a million dollars! That’s just unheard of in Austin. But Bangor would not have been for us.

After 2 weeks, we were excited to see our house on the coast in Castine. We stopped for lunch in Belfast and it was really cute. Then we picked up groceries and got to the house about 3:00. It was in a great location. It had a giant screened in porch. And it was as hot as hell inside. I could hardly hide my immediate disappointment with this house. It was FUGLY. The furniture was all mismatched and uncomfortable. Duct tape on one of the chairs. There were no window units, only a few fans caked with dust. One TV. One queen sized bed upstairs was full of broken springs. Not that we could sleep upstairs because it was so hot. We had to push two twin sized beds together in the basement. Because of the dehumidifier, it was cooler down there, but it was so gross. Ceiling tiles like an office building. A smell. The décor was all 1980’s garage sale. The kitchen didn’t have a single pot with a matching lid and no baking sheets or roasting pans. The bathrooms. Oh good grief the bathrooms. So disgusting. Castine itself was adorable. A few cute shops and restaurants. There is a maritime academy and while we were there, their ship returned from a long trip. It was all very exciting. There were fewer bugs so walks were pretty nice and there was a public beach close to the house that the girls loved. Overall, it was a complete bust. I don’t know that we can use VRBO again. We ended up leaving a week early. We sent a message to the homeowner letting her know we were leaving and were shocked by her response. She was so angry with us and so defensive about her house that she gave us 1 star as guests. Yeah, so no more VRBO.

We left on a Saturday afternoon and stayed in New Haven the first night. La Quintas can be hit or miss. This one was a big miss. The bed was broken. It smelled like cigarettes. I think there were hookers in the lobby. Couldn’t leave fast enough. The second night, we stayed at the best hotel ever. It was called the Graduate and it was in Knoxville, TN. So delightful and comfortable. I did not want to leave the next morning. The map said it would be 14 more hours until we got home and I just couldn’t do it. But we did. It was exhausting and unpleasant, but we did it. I’ve never been so happy to get back to 107 degree weather. Because we are civilized and have A/C.

It took us a few days to become human again. I love our home. I guess after everything, that’s a great thing to feel, that our home is better than any vacation locale. Retiring on the east coast seems like it may be out of the question for us. For three summers now, we’ve tried different locations, but they just haven’t been our cup of tea. Not that we drink tea. As per Ted Lasso, it tastes like pigeon sweat.