The Politics of Leaf Blowing
On March 4, 2020, Bill had his peroneal tendon (tendon in the ankle) replaced. They used a cadaver tendon, which is so interesting to me, but that’s a whole different story. He left the surgical center wearing a splint and on crutches. The crutches lasted about three days before we got both an upstairs and downstairs knee scooter, as those are much easier to use. On March 23rd, Bill should get a walking cast and we hope that will give him even more freedom and independence. Well, let’s face it, I can’t wait for him to be able to clean the cat box again.
Who knew that shortly after Bill’s surgery, the coronavirus shit show would hit the U.S. and we wouldn’t really be able to do much of anything? I, for one, have not taken the news well that a potentially lethal virus is on the loose and there is no vaccine or cure on the horizon. I’m not crazy about our president’s behavior during this crisis (there is SO MUCH MORE to say about this, but I can’t think about this malignant shit funnel for one more second). I’ve had a couple of crying fits. I get scared. I don’t ever get sick so I’m not even worried about myself getting anything more than a cold, but I fear for so many people and the possibility of a lack of medical resources. People losing jobs, parents having to spend entire days with their children, not being able to give people hugs. Well, and frankly, I’m just furious at the inconvenience of it all (insert fist pounding temper tantrum here).
What I have found that has been extraordinarily helpful is…drum roll please…yard work and gardening. Yes, that sweaty thing you do outside with a rake and stuff. Now if you know me, you will know that I have never mown a lawn. My Dad really liked to mow the lawn so there was no need and well then when I was an adult, that was just the man’s job. And I went ahead and threw all outdoor maintenance in the same category. Just to keep it simple. The first year we moved into this house, I raked the leaves once. Once. They just kept falling. Why bother doing it again if they are just going to keep falling? And gardening has never interested me in the least. It’s dirty and frustrating. And dirty. Oh the joy of nurturing a seed and watching it turn into a living plant. Nope, don’t care.
I was walking the dogs one day and I had this feeling that everyone in the neighborhood picked up all of their leaves. I saw yard crews everywhere. I felt a little self-conscious and thought maybe I should pick up our leaves. That’s how it started. Purely out of shame. I raked and raked and that first day, I cleaned up all of the leaves out of the street in front of our house. I was so proud of myself. Our house actually looked nice from the outside. Then I had to leave for an appointment. As I drove away, I noticed two yard crews in our cul-de-sac. When I came back from my appointment, there were a ton of leaves in front of our house. Surely, the yard crews had not just moved other people’s leaves to our house? Anyway, I filled up 22 lawn bags the first week. I even figured out how to use our leaf blower so I could get the ones that were in the gravel. I also started weeding and pruning. We have these giant rosemary bushes and apparently, they should not just be left to take over the entire yard. I spent hours every day filling up these lawn bags and there was just always more to be done. The next week, I filled up the remaining 14 bags with more leaves and branches. I had run out of bags I was doing so much work. Because we had been self-isolating, I couldn’t just run to Lowe’s and get more bags so I ordered some from Amazon, along with fancy new gardening gloves. I had actually put holes in the two pairs that I already owned (why did I have gardening gloves if I didn’t garden? That is a very good question. Gifts maybe?).
The experience of being outside and seeing so many neighbors walk by with their dogs and/or children was so helpful during such a stressful time. It made the world feel normal. I didn’t think about COVID-19 the entire time I was outside. I had no idea what I was doing, but it was fun just to keep trying. One afternoon, Bill and I both sat outside on the ground and just pulled weeds. It was so fulfilling to see the benefits of our work. One day it rained and I decided that I would try and dig up the stump from our century plant that had died months ago. I started with the shovel and that didn’t seem to work so then I got out the pickaxe. Let me tell you…if you ever feel like you need to smash something or punch someone, find a pickaxe and go after a stump. It was exhilarating. I just hacked the shit out of that thing until my arms just couldn’t do it anymore. I wasn’t able to get the whole thing removed, but I got a very good start. Every time I came in from outside, I was covered in dirt and sweat and I was absolutely exhausted. I hurt every morning and my fingers swelled up from all of the weeding. How could I think about anything else, but that yard? I imagined plants I would put in and plants I would take out. I read about plants online and how to pick out the best ones for sun and shade. I asked my friend, a master gardener, questions and told her how excited I was about gardening. She was incredibly supportive.
Every day, I would wake up with the intent of going running and walking the dogs. And every day, I would go outside to do one little thing in the yard and then three hours later, I would be covered in dirt again and too tired to move. Sometimes, I would still walk the dogs and it was really nice to pay attention to what other people did in their yards. It was interesting to see other people in the neighborhood, keeping their six-foot social distance. Sometimes I would go running, but that was a bit harder to do. I didn’t really like leaving our little sanctuary and it was always a chore to go way around people to make sure to keep that six-foot gap. Plus, the running wasn’t keeping my mind off of the virus like the gardening was.
There are many people in our neighborhood that work on their yards and then there are many people who have yard crews once a week or every other week. We had little projects done every once in a while and Bill did a few things here and there. Our house certainly didn’t look shabby, but I have found that it could use a little bit of freshening. A few colorful additions would be quite lovely I think. I’ve gotten a teensy bit obsessive, but I think in a good way.
Today, I spent a couple of hours pulling some weeds, pruning some lantana, and removing some wayward plants. Then, a little later, I decided to get the blower out and remove all of the leaves from the street in front of our house. I felt pretty generous and wanted to be neighborly so I took the blower out as far as the extension cord would go and cleaned up a great deal of the cul-de-sac. I raked up a couple of more bags from the yard and went inside to shower and unwind. About 30 minutes after I came inside, I noticed our neighbor three doors down. I hadn’t seen him for months and wasn’t sure he was still living there, but he came outside with his leaf blower and started blowing the leaves in front of his house away from his portion of the street. He didn’t have very many leaves, but he was not about to have them in front of his house. I watched and watched and saw him blow them right in front of his next door neighbors’ houses. He actually blew some of them underneath the wrought iron gate in front of one of the houses. It was funny, but also one of the most passive aggressive actions I’ve ever seen. A truck appeared and he ran inside and as soon as the truck left, he came back out and finished moving the leaves away from his house. He knew he was doing something that wasn’t very neighborly, but it was like his stand against other people’s leaves being blown into his yard by the wind.
I’ve thought about the leaves I saw that day when I came back from my appointment. Was that on purpose? Was someone thinking those leaves belong to me and I need to clean them up? Were they sitting in their house just fuming about the leaves that the wind just blew in their yard? Did they sleep with a leaf blower and jump out of bed when they heard rustling leaves on their driveway? Did they tell their lawn service not to bag the leaves, but instead to return them to their “rightful owner?” If I ever, ever get that upset over leaves from another person’s tree getting in my yard, I will not continue to do yard work. I don’t want to be that angry. Do years of yard work make people insane? I hope not because I’m really liking it.
Now people shouldn’t have to clean up my yard. I grant you that. Keeping our little corner of the universe in good order is a nice and neighborly thing to do. But let’s get real here. A few leaves in your yard from someone else’s tree doesn’t have to ruin your day. Unless I remove all of my trees or tie hair nets around each and every one, I can’t help it if the wind blows a few leaves your way. You have a choice to feel how you feel about this.
Wuhan, China did not invent the coronavirus, nor did they hope it would spread over the entire planet. It could have started anywhere. Calling it the Chinese Virus is racist and wrong. Pretending like science does not exist and acting like you know everything about how to run a country is the most narcissistic and ignorant thing you could possibly do. Worrying about your “ratings” (YOU ARE NOT ON A REALITY TV SHOW YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, YOU ARE AFFECTING PEOPLE’S REAL LIVES!) is not your job, taking care of this country and human beings is. Stop blowing leaves in other people’s yards and trying to make your own yard look good while taking a shit on everyone around you. That is not presidential.
And while I’m at it, quit lying you idiot. You know you are lying. Just stop it. It’s easy. When you think of something you want to say and it is not true, don’t say it. Simple as that.
