The Necessity of Extraordinarily Large Furniture
Prior to bringing home our first puppy, Grace Kelly, we made what we considered to be a logical purchase - - a king sized bed. We knew we would not be the type of dog parents who could say no to our baby and she would likely be sleeping on all of the furniture. We would need plenty of room for what would become an 80-pound Golden Retriever. Yes, she was only supposed to be 70 pounds, but we got a little carried away with the peanut butter biscuits. Like I said, we could not say no. Don’t flip out, she’s on a diet now and even if it kills us, she will get down to her ideal weight.
Two years later, when we brought home our newest addition, Millie Kelly, we realized there was not a bed large enough to contain our entire family. I don’t know if this applies to all dogs, but Golden Retrievers like to sleep perpendicular to the standard human sleeping position or sometimes even stretching out from one corner to the other. We learned to adapt. We developed the pretzel position in order to manipulate our bodies into the spaces the girls left for us to sleep in. Sometimes, we got a reprieve and one of the girls would jump down in the night and sleep on the floor or in one of the dog beds. Yes, they do each have their own personalized dog bed.
During the pandemic, I developed a mean case of insomnia and spent many nights on the downstairs sofa. Initially, the dogs slept on the floor and everyone seemed content, however, the girls soon learned that the sofa was far more comfortable than the floor or some silly dog bed. Yes, they have personalized beds upstairs and downstairs. As long as I got downstairs first, I could get a spot on the sofa, but if I got up to get a drink or something, all bets were off and I had to curl up in a ball in the middle. Not very comfortable.
We considered the purchase of a sectional, but we have good taste and our previous exposure to sectionals left us imagining how we could possible live with something so hideous. Cupholders in a car? Perfectly acceptable. Cupholders in a couch? Sacrilege.
After developing a particularly painful crick in my neck while drying my hair, I decided the current sleeping situation was unworkable. We would at least need to look at sectionals. For the girls. We tried online shopping, but that’s overwhelming and really not feasible if you actually care what a sofa feels like. Yes, furniture is returnable, but I have found returning items to be a pain in my backside so I prefer to just get exactly what I want right off the bat. We went to our favorite furniture store, certain there would not be a sectional that would meet our high expectations. We were almost right. We didn’t like the majority of them. We found exactly one sofa we liked, but a sofa is not a sectional. But it did come as a sectional. They just didn’t have one in the store. Score! We went home and measured and I assured my husband that the sectional would not be too large for the room. I picked the turquoise fabric because life is just too short for a brown piece of furniture. I know, I know. You can always add colorful pillows and blankets to brighten up the room and you can always change them up to change the whole look. That’s a perfectly acceptable aesthetic. My personal design philosophy, however, leans towards the “go big or go home” school of thought.
Eighteen weeks later…the sectional was finally ready. Did I say there was a backlog on furniture? Eighteen weeks! I think I could have grown the trees, woven the fabric, watched some YouTube videos, and built the darn thing myself in 18 weeks, but I was exhausted from sleeping on a couch with two Golden Retrievers. The day it arrived was better than Christmas. It was absolutely perfect. I had purchased a pet proof blanket in a cow hide print that was the perfect mix of function and kitsch. With the pet blanket, colorful Irish woven throw and accent pillows, the sofa was the epitome of coolness. I could have sworn we were living in one of those cool houses on the Real World. Without the drama, booze, and puke of course.
We were a little anxious, but the girls loved the sectional. Thank goodness. It was for them after all. For the most part, navigating positions has been smooth sailing. Occasionally, problems arise when each dog takes an arm and I have to fold myself into a 90-degree angle if I want to lie down. My husband and I usually can’t lie on it at the same time if Grace or Millie decide they want to join us. I get a little perturbed when the girls decide to sleep on the floor instead, but it is their world. We just get to live in it. I suppose we could have gotten a larger sectional, but then we wouldn’t have been able to actually walk through the living room to get onto the sectional. We could learn to crawl over the back of it I guess?
